From Our Chairwoman  "Space-the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Farndale Ladies...." Welcome to our latest production, a play that is literally out of this world. I would like to thank our director, David Plummer, for his hard work. Unfortunately David cannot be with us this evening as he has a previous engagement with the RSC (Rochdale Swimming Club) but before he left he was heard to describe our performance as "unbelievable".
Now a note for your diary - on Monday next Thelma Greenwood will be holding a Tupperware party at the Farndale Avenue Community Centre to raise fund for the victims of Perkins’ Disease. Thelma also tell me that she will be selling some of her very popular hand-knitted tea cosies. Buy now while stocks last - as they say. This is a late replacement for Sylvia Frobisher’s aerobics class which Sylvia hopes to restart once she is out of traction. It only remains for me to wish you an enjoyable evening.
PJ Reece (Mrs)

Director's Commentary  Oh no, not another bloody Farndale farce! But after seeing another local group perform The Farndale Ladies Murder Mystery we were enthused about doing another one. An enthusiasm that didn’t quite last the distance in my case. Although it was a much better production than The Farndale Macbeth - the pace was tighter, the timing better, the situations funnier and Mozza's Tangerine Dream-esque space music was seriously excellent - it still felt like a rehash of old ideas (much like the spoof programme notes above) and I doubt very much that we'll be doing another one. This is supposedly the longest title in amateur drama. It certainly felt like forever rehearsing it David

Players From Mars  Ray was briefly interviewed by the Hull Daily Mail and laid it on with a trowel. This is the article that appeared, "Question: What do you get when the world's worst amateur dramatic group try their hands at a spine-chilling, hi-tech science fiction thriller packed to the gills with robots, aliens and death rays? The answer is, of course, complete cosmic chaos as the world-renowned Farndale Avenue Townswomen's Guild Amateur Dramatic Group put on They Came From Mars. This hilarious play, in which everything that can go wrong does go wrong, is the third "Farndale Ladies" play performed by the Chameleon Players and is well up to the standard of the previous efforts, being full of sight gags, word-play and truly, truly terrible performances from the well meaning but talentless Townswomen's Guild. Book early to ensure your seat for the greatest comedy event of the galaxy". "Greatest comedy event of the galaxy!" Nothing wrong with a little hyperbole, is there?

The Audience Won't Notice  As Mrs Reece, Val forgot her opening speech on the Saturday night. As we do Farndale Ladies plays without a prompt (it would ruin the illusion of incompetence - and it is an illusion, honest), she ad-libbed “What are you doing back there, Joyce?”, walked off stage, looked at her script and came back on apologising to the audience and finished off her speech. She would have to do it on the night the director was watching.