One Angry Man  Irwin was supposed to be directing a production of Twelve Angry Men in this slot for which we'd recruited several new men. THEN, on the day we were going to start rehearsing, we received a phone call from Samuel French saying that they couldn't grant us a licence as a professional company had just bought the performing rights. Bugger!

Author! Author!  This one was hot off the presses, so hot in fact that I was handing rewrites to the cast up to the last two weeks of rehearsals – which probably annoyed them no end. It was based on the works of some of my favourite authors that were ripe for a lovingly crafted pastiche. Personally, I think that’s just a posh word for rip-off. So it ended up as a "Sir Arthur Conan Doyle meets H.P Lovecraft" sort of thing - no great insights into the human condition, just a check-your-brain-in-at-the-door comedy telling the simple tale of an evil genius who wants to take over the world with his vampire teapot from outer space. Yes, that old chestnut Edgar

I Don't Understand The Plot  The basic idea was for four short, but linked, plays telling one story - structured like an old four part Dr Who story. Part one - introduction, part two - development, part three - lots of running around in corridors, part four - conclusion. 
The Curse Of The Cardingtons had the hard job of introducing the villain, The "Chalice Of Malice" - the vampire teapot itself - and telling a coherent story. It was loosely based on The Hound Of The Baskervilles only this time EVERYONE was a wicked descendant of Sir Hugo with an evil - and successively more ridiculous - plot to claim the estate.
Working Backwards was told in reverse order - like Memento - to provide a twist in the tail. I felt this was the weakest play so went for cheap laughs by giving Edwick an OTT lisp which, of course, got no laughs at all. Obviously Chameleon audiences are too sophisticated to fall for comedy speech impediments! 
The Gentleman Thief was written in the style of Conor McPherson's This Lime Tree Bower - a three way monologue. And just for the hell of it, I stuck the name of every one of Mr McPherson's plays into the dialogue. 
Although Lovecraftian hints had been dropped in the proceeding three parts, The Boudoir Of Death went the whole hog. (During his lifetime H.P Lovecraft encouraged other writers to work with his concepts). I was particularly pleased that some of the audience actually spotted that Mark's diabolical incantation was "I'm A Little Teapot" backwards! Edgar

Quote, Unquote  My friends said that it was the funniest play they had seen in years Terry
So, Simon Temple-Meads rode again. It was a real pleasure to bring out the old reprobate again, and an even bigger pleasure to work with Claire and, of course, the incomparable Sharon. It was wonderful also to see Mark and Jen, both of whom were terrific, real assets to the group Ray
I know David was absolutely knackered by the time we came to doing this one. That said, we did our usual high class stuff. Memorable bits: Mark's maniacal laughter and superb rendition of the Incantation; Jen's "flower arranging" and great accent; Bwian's contwibution to pwonunciation; Jenny and Terry's double act; Claire's wonderful comic delivery. The best bit was the way everyone pulled together, despite difficult circumstances, to put on another enjoyable production Ailsa
You wait ages for a part with a hat and then two turn up at once. Quite a challenge but I got off my 'r's to play Edwick and the Count and had a great time into the bargain. Got away with bruised ribs and a squashed toe this time so it wasn't too bad Brian
I haven't been on the stage since primary school, but I was lured under false pretences - "You'll only be on for five minutes, you've only got five lines" - into playing Deakins the homicidal mallet wielding senior drudge of Cardington Hall... and I loved every minute of it, which was more than five! Everyone was fantastic and really supported a novice Jen
Bed scenes are becoming my speciality, it seems! It was great playing an evil genius - albeit only for a few lines right at the end! Jane
H.P Lovecraft meets Sherlock Holmes meets The Rocky Horror Show... Without the singing... Without the stockings and suspenders... Behind all the stress of remembering our lines, guns that wouldn't fire and the 'not-so-blackouts' of the new Northern Theatre during the summer months, I think it showed in our performance that we all really enjoyed ourselves. I'm not sure if it was a compliment or an insult when I was told, after the first night, that I was "Born to be evil" - but I'll take it as the former! Mark

Director's Commentary  And I thought I was suffering from director fatigue during Playhouse Creatures! I wish I could say I’d had as good a time as the cast but I was having to fake my enthusiasm after about a week. After the demise of Twelve Angry Men, I was the only person in a position to bring a production forward, so it was either down to me (again!) or lose the slot at Northern. Having a couple of plays I had been considering for next year, I chose the one with the larger cast in order to involve all the new men we had picked up. And guess what? Yeah, that’s right. Not a single one of them turned up for the reading. Bastards. 
It was a long, hard slog, but all of those who DID take part worked their socks off to ensure we could put on a decent performance. For the sake of the play it could probably have done with an extra couple of weeks rehearsal, but for the sake of my sanity, I’m glad it didn’t get them. However, the reaction of Friday’s audience, in particular, was brilliant. I have NEVER had to hold back a line, waiting for the laughter to subside, for as long as I did while demonstrating William Chalker’s "Time Machine" (It was a chair!) And nobody, seeing Jen’s performance as Deakins, could believe she’d never been on stage before (or, seeing my performance as Hardy, could believe I HAD). So now I’m taking a long, long break – as the next one’s an all-female cast, they can’t need me for that, can they…? David

The Audience Won't Notice  We can check another Amdram cliché off the list. On Friday night the gun jammed and Mark really DID have to club Jen to death with the butt! Some people actually thought it was intentional on the part of the author. Not this time! And isn't there something therapeutic about killing your wife on stage?

Deep Purple Much to Edgar's delight, on 28th April - 1st May 2010 Too Clever By Half was performed by Purple Theatre Co at the Compass Theatre, Ickenham. More details can be found here. And photographs can be found here.